Parents today have a lot on their plates. Juggling the demands of work, home, and other responsibilities leaves many parents feeling like they do not have nearly enough time with their children. But even small acts of kindness, protection, and caring- a hug, a smile, or loving words- make a big difference to children. Research consistently shows that babies who receive affection and nurturing from their parents have the best chance of developing into children, teens, and adults who are happy, healthy, and competent. Research also shows that a relationship with a consistent, stable, and caring adult in the early years is associated in later life with better academic grades, healthier behaviors, more positive peer interactions, and an increased ability to cope with stress.
Infant brains develop best when a few stable caregivers work to understand and meet their needs for love, affection, and stimulation, or provide comfort when they are hungry, bored, tired, wet, or cold. Conversely, neglectful and abusive parenting can have a negative effect on brain development. Research shows that a lack of contact or interaction with a caregiver can change the infant’s body chemistry, resulting in a reduction in the growth hormones essential for brain and heart development. Furthermore, the ability to feel remorse and empathy are built on experience. Children who lack early emotional attachments or who grow up fearful and expecting to be hurt will have a difficult time relating to peers.
As children grow, nurturing by parents and other caregivers remains important for healthy physical and emotional development. While physical contact may become less important, listening and talking are always vital to the relationship. Parents nurture their older children by making time to listen to them, staying aware of the child or teen’s interests and friends, and being willing to advocate for the child when necessary.
When parents spend time and energy discovering and paying attention to their children’s needs, they are rewarded with positive, open, and trusting relationships with their children. Parents who develop the ability to respond sensitively to the needs of their children, no matter what age, will find parenting easier and more enjoyable.
Exploring Strengths and Needs
Regardless of the child’s age, parents can take advantage of opportunities in their sometimes hectic lives to listen and respond their child kin a nurturing way. Even a few minutes of quality time in the car, at the store, or while cooking dinner mean so much to a child. Your role as a partner with the parent is to model and acknowledge nurturing behaviors as parents make connections with their baby, child, or teen.
Some parents have chosen to communicate the importance of nurturing and attachment in the terms of the desired outcomes: “My children feel loved, believe they matter, and can get along with other.” Or simply, “My children feel loved, believe they matter, and can get along with others.” Or simply, “My child(ren) and I regularly show each other how much we love each other.”
Sharing Strategies and Resources to Strengthen Nurturing and Attachment
You can share resources available from your agency and throughout the community on how parents can connect with their children, listen to them, and become more involved in their lives. It is important to note that bonding is a two-way street. As children grow and develop the ability to socialize, relate, and communicate, it is easier for parents to respond positively to them. When a child does not show a positive response to the parent (due to age, a disability, or other factors), the parent may need additional support.
Resources to promote nurturing may include information, examples, and opportunities to practice and receive feedback in the areas of:
Impact of nurturing on development
- Information about infant and toddler development, including brain development
- The importance of an early secure attachment between parent and young children
- Information on shaken baby syndrome and sudden infant death syndrome
- Examples of secure parent-child attachment at all ages
- Examples of how secure parent-child attachment supports positive child behavior
Parenting strategies that promote nurturing
- Infant care and strategies that promote bonding and attachment (e.g. breastfeeding, rocking, using a baby carrier, responding to crying, talking lovingly, consistency within and across caregivers, and stability of primary caregivers)
- Cultural differences in how parents and children show affection
- What to do when your child has an emotional or behavioral disability that limits his or her ability to respond to parental nurturing
- Ways to nurture children at every age
- How fathers nurture children
- Ways to engage other important adults as part of a child’s “nurturing network”
- Ways to create and sustain healthy marriages that better support a nurturing home environment for children
- Ways to create a quality time to play with children in the context of daily activities
- Communicating effectively with older children and resolving conflicts
- Using positive discipline
Many parents, especially parents of infantsm find that home visits are a convenient way to access resources. For providers, home visits allow you to mmet with parents in an environment where parents and children may be most comfortable. Home visits also give you a chance to talk to parents about any material or safety needs in the home.
However, some families may not feel comfortable having strangers in their home and may prefer to meet in another setting, such as a church, school, park, or office. For some families, a “neighborhood helper” or other person who shares the family’s ethnic and cultural background may provide a bridge for connecting with the parent or caregiver.
Parents know their children best- their unique behaviors, interests, and abilities. But no parent can be an expert on all aspects of infant, child and teenage development or the most effective ways to support a child at each stage. When parents are not aware of normal developmental milestones, interpret their child’s behaviors in a negative way, or do not know how to respond to and effectively manage a child’s behavior, they can become frustrated and may resort to harsh discipline or emotional withdrawal.
