Neil White, who tells the stories of Children’s Trust, puts a spotlight on the Parents Are First program in Darlington County. Partnering with the South Carolina Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy, Children’s Trust oversees the program through funding provided by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Office of Adolescent Health.
HARTSVILLE – Ny’dajh Depugh became pregnant as a senior at Hartsville High.
Ny’dajh Depugh appreciates what she has learned in the Parents Are First program.
Ny’dajh Depugh appreciates what she has learned in the Parents Are First program.
Like many single teen moms, she was unsure of what would come next after her daughter Tavare’Yona was born three years ago. Help arrived just over a year ago in the form of the Parents Are First program implemented by Darlington County First Steps.
“They’ve helped me a lot. I didn’t know a thing about babies,” Depugh said. “They’ve taught me everything.”
The program does more, however, than simply give child care and parenting lessons. It emphasizes getting young parents to commit to finishing their schooling, teaching them the digital skills necessary to apply for college as well as fill out applications and write resumes while they search for jobs, and instilling a financial literacy that includes budgeting skills.
Brenda Ayers, the project director for Parents Are First, knows how important it is to treat the whole person.
“They really don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care,” she said.
Most importantly, Ayers wants them to dream of better days ahead.
“If they don’t believe they can have a different life, then you can’t do anything with them,” she said. “We have to help them believe there is a different way for them.”
Breaking the cycle
Many of the participants were raised themselves by young parents, and they have a hard time seeing the possibilities outside what they know. They are caught in the negative cycle of familial poverty and low educational attainment.
Brenda Ayers explains the goals for the Parents Are First program and what impact it can have in Darlington County.
Brenda Ayers explains the goals for the Parents Are First program and what impact it can have in Darlington County.
Ashley Holman, project assistant for Parents Are First in Darlington County, has a powerful message for young parents.
“You can still be more. Being a mom is great, but there are these other things you can still be,” Holman said. “You can finish high school, you can go to college and you can have a job that is not fast food. … They have to know that and have someone tell them.”
The program specifically works to increase educational attainment, reduce the number of repeat pregnancies among teen parents, improve parenting skills, and ensure the children receive proper care, It also strives to connect young parents, geared to ages 15-24, with other community partners for needed services.
One benefit for the 21-year-old Depugh that speaks to her is the peer support offered by the program, where she can sit in a room and discuss life issues with other young moms in similar circumstances. All of them soak up the advice offered by the Parents Are First staff in open and honest discussions.
“It’s fun and you can say what’s on your mind. You can say anything,” Depugh said. “You can say what you’re feeling, and they’ll give you an answer. They tell you what you can do and how you can do it.”
Holman enjoys leading the support group and offering guidance. Providing hope is as important as supplying services.
“This gives them a sense of camaraderie because they feel so alone. They feel like they’re in it by themselves,” Holman said. “They want to hear from teen moms who have done this and succeeded. That’s a big thing.”
The program offers four hours of free child care four days a week so moms can do things like go to the grocery store or look for a job.
Finding a place for fathers
Fathers are also an important part of the program, and Jon Flowers, the fatherhood specialist for Parents Are First, works throughout Darlington County to help young fathers overcome obstacles to becoming a more involved and responsible parent.
The Dad Cave serves as a place where young fathers can find a support system.
The Dad Cave serves as a place where young fathers can find a support system.
“If they’re not in the household, we want to make them aware of what kind of effects not having a father in the home can have on the kids,” Flowers said. “You don’t have to live with them to be an influence. We teach them how to work with the mothers to co-parent and think about the kids.”
Flowers spends time in the community reaching out to young dads on issues like building job skills, pursuing adult education, and finding alternatives for them that will not lead to incarceration. They developed the Dad Cave at the St. Joseph Head Start Center on West Washington Street in Hartsville.
Designed with a sports theme, it’s a place where they can come together to develop friendships and find supportive voices. And it’s a place where older fathers can stop by and give advice to younger ones, who may be looking for a way to get off the streets.
“I’d like it to be a place where they can come by, hang out and talk about whatever they want. It doesn’t have to be a presentation in a class setting every single time they come in,” Flowers said. “A lot of the young fathers say there’s nothing to do around here. We want a safe place for them to come and not do some of those things they do when they’re not here.”
Darnell McPherson, the executive director of Darlington County First Steps, envisions the fatherhood initiative evolving into a standalone program. It’s currently getting additional support from Kappa Alpha Psi’s Guide Right mentoring program that focuses on educational and occupational guidance for young high school students.
Looking ahead to better days
Depugh appreciates the concerted effort to help young moms and dads in the county. She has goals of finding a job for herself and making sure that her daughter gets a good education.
That’s what the program’s directors want to hear. Now they hope to keep spreading the word and reach more teens and young adults who need the assistance as they embark on the program’s second year.
“We’re on the cusp of doing great things,” Ayers said. “We’re getting the word out there.”
